Personality Types and Love Languages

Personality Types and Love Languages

At The Whitehaven Clinic we use personality profiling to help identify underlying root cause contributors to addiction.  And a key focus during treatment is relationships and creating and building meaningful connections.

For a bit of fun, here’s how we each personality type would match up to Love Languages, a concept put together by Steve Chapman.

One: The Reformer

Ones are often seen as perfectionists, because of their desire to “get it right”.  That can be both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, they’re always motivated to give 100% to everything they do. On the other hand, they have such high standards for themselves that they sometimes struggle to feel satisfied with their achievements. That’s why words of affirmation can go such a long way with a One. By making it a point to affirm their strong work ethic, their creativity in finding solutions, their desire to provide and get it right, you help them to be a little less hard on themselves.

Two: The Helper/Nurturer

Twos are usually very generous and demonstrative in showing their love in a myriad of ways — by showering you with compliments, showing you physical affection, helping you with practical day-to-day tasks, and making sure to carve out plenty of time for you in their schedule. However, to receive love, Twos tend to especially appreciate physical touch — so feel free to embrace them or give a passionate smooch to demonstrate how much you appreciate them. They also value words of affirmation, so in addition to showing how much you care, thank them and tellthem how much you appreciate them as well.

Three: The Achiever/Motivator

Threes typically want to be respected and admired. So, sometimes these driven workaholics can become so focused on success that they forget to appreciate the small wins long the way and take care of their own well-being. If you’re a partner of a Three, then making their life easier while they’re slaving away creates enormous gratitude from a Three. This is why their love language tends to be Acts of Service.

Words of affirmation can also be powerful for this type, particularly if it supports their dreams and gives them time off without beating themselves up.  In particular, help them to recognise that they are loved and valuable, regardless of what they achieve.

Four: The Individualist

Fours thrive on all-night D&Ms, intense eye contact, and passionate embraces. Basically, they want to feel that they can expose themselves and their flaws fully with you, and they want you to reciprocate.  Therefore, their love language is often Quality Time. They don’t just want you to pencil them in — they want one-on-one hangouts in which they can delve into deep topics and conversation with you for hours on end.

Expressive, intense Fours also tend to appreciate physical touch and words of affirmation — especially when those words demonstrate your acknowledgement and acceptance of their uniqueness.

Five: The Investigator

Since Fives are completely independent and could live without seeing another soul (and I kid you not!), they don’t need a ton of quality time. And being in the Head Center, words of affirmation won’t really do it for these logic-minded, non-verbal, types. Fives often struggle with stress and nerves in regards to the outside world, and thus, need plenty of alone time to sort through their thoughts and feelings.  They’re also a competency type which means that they want to focus on solutions. As such, the best way to their heart is through Acts of Service. Show them how much you care by allowing them the space they need while helping them to meet their self-care needs.

Six: The Loyalist

In order for a Six to feel loved, they need to feel safe and supported first and foremost and that they can trust you secondly. That means proving to them that you can be relied on, and that you are a person of your word – otherwise they see lack of follow through as a significant trigger. Words of Affirmation are reassuring to a Six, but only if you back up your words with your actions. Remind them regularly that you’re there for them, and that you’re not going anywhere.

Seven: The Enthusiast

Fun-loving and adventurous, Sevens don’t ever want to feel boxed in or confined.  They crave freedom more than they do happiness. They don’t need a ton of verbal affirmation or quality time to be content, but they do need to feel like they can maintain their independence in relationships. Sevens have an insatiable craving for novelty and excitement, so Physical Touch — especially in new forms and when they least expect it — goes a long way. Another way to make a Seven feel loved is to surprise them with a cool experience gift, like wakeboarding lessons or a road trip to a city you’ve never been to.

Eight: The Challenger

Passionate Eights show their love by filling the role of protector. You can always count on them to stand up for you, or better yet, empower you to stand up for yourself through words of affirmation. However, they don’t need you to do the same for them — they’re assertive and confident enough as it is. Physical Touch and affection rarely fails to help the Eight drop their aggressive shell and show you the softie underneath.

Nine: The Peacemaker

Easy-going, agreeable Nines crave a meaningful, harmonious connection with their partners. And the best way for them to build that is through Quality Time. Help your Nine feel loved by being fully present with them when you’re hanging out — turn your phone off, and show them that you value their thoughts, opinions and feelings by actively listening to them even when what they have to say feels like it’s taking a while to say it.  Remember also that Nines can tend to be accommodating of other needs and desires, so encourage them to take the lead on making plans once in a while.

All the very best, Tabitha


To learn more about our family and partner programs, please email info@whitehavenclinic.com.au or see our website at Our Services (https://www.whitehavenclinic.com.au/services-2/#fp) .

Byron Katie, author of ‘Who Am I Without My Story’ – www.thework.com